Did you know that I'm actually a Native American and a farmer?

Hey, if Elizabeth Warren is, so am I. Besides, I plant tomatoes in my backyard. So I'm technically a farmer.

I will be using my $50,000 to buy a greenhouse. Just kidding, we're remodeling our kitchen.

BTW, I have never claimed to be an African American and do feel great personal guilt for my ancestral part in slavery. That is the role that my great-grandparents played when they immigrated to this country in the early 1900s from Germany and Russia.

Oops...I meant the Apache Nation.