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It's tough being a Vulcan

Updated: Oct 21, 2022

Just tell that self-centered beech that if she ever wants to be Mrs. Spock she better improve her tech game.

Nothing is more frustrating than Earth women being overly obsessed with "feelings".

Engineer’s partner doesn’t care about technology

By Amy Dickinson

Chicago Tribune

Oct 20, 2022 at 4:30 am

Dear Amy: Overall, things are great between my partner “Beth” and me.

Beth is a teacher and I’m a security engineer. Basically, I work as a computer hacker that stops computer hackers.

Every day after work, I’ll listen and weigh in while Beth tells me about troubles at the school, her kids, learning about different teaching methods and policies, curriculum, theories – and everything in between.

Unfortunately, when it comes to me sharing things about my work, she will say, “I don’t like/understand technology” and remove herself from the conversation.

I have tried supplying all kinds of metaphors, offering to show bare bones basics, anything else I can think of. She simply says, “Oh it’s tech. I’m not interested.”

I love how passionate she is about her career, but it hurts that I cannot share my own passion with her.

When it comes to everything else in life, we are great about sharing and communicating.

Right now I’m at the point of just saying, “Work is fine,” and moving on.

Any suggestions?

– Multifactor Your Heart

Dear Multifactor: I looked up “Multifactor” to discern what you might have meant by signing your question that way, which tells me two things. One: For those of us in the non-tech “people” business, your orientation might occasionally be difficult to understand.

Two: I am willing to take some easy steps to try to understand you. Your partner should do the same. She is a teacher. Is she also capable of learning?

When she shuts you down, you should call her on it. “Beth, responding the way you do is rude. When you do that, I honestly feel hurt.”

You could also tell her that you spend a lot of time listening and have done your utmost to learn about her profession so that you can communicate with her about it. You might ask her if there are ways you could engage her more fully in your profession.

My instinct is that if you reframed your explanations to include more details about the people you work with or the people or institutions your work affects, it might help her relate to you, but ultimately she should be considerate enough to develop a working interest in a pursuit which is obviously very important to you. And, if she cannot develop a genuine interest, she should fake it politely, as you have probably been doing much of the time when she tells you about her day.

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