We need more cows. A ton more cows!

It's time for Angus cattle to start humping like rabbits. We need to hit peak "cow". Four people per cow. That's unacceptable!

I was saying to the missus the other day, "they grow up so fast...before you know it they're a T-Bone steaks".

New friends soon to be dearly departed friends.

With US beef prices at record highs, America’s protein craze is still driving consumption

Chart R

April 17, 2026

Beef has long been ingrained in American culture, and today’s era of “boy kibble” and “protein-maxxing” comes as no exception.

However, even as prices have cooled for other inflation-jacked groceries, the cost of beef has never been higher than in recent months. Per the latest federal data, the average price of all uncooked ground beef in the US was $6.86 per pound in March, which is about $0.03 lower than the all-time high reported in February and 48% higher than five years ago.

Several factors are at play behind the beefed up prices. For one, America’s cattle inventories currently hover around a 75-year low, with the Department of Agriculture reporting that there were just 86.2 million cattle and calves in the US as of January 1st, marking a ~7.4 million reduction in herd size since 2021.

When compared with the human population in the US, the nation’s ratio of people-to-cattle has effectively doubled from 1980 (when cattle headcount was ~111.2 million) to 4-to-1 at the start of 2026.

Part of the reason for the shift, as outlined by the Associated Press, is that more meat per cow is now harvestable, thanks to changes in genetics and feeding. But cattle farmers have also pointed to dry conditions, fertilizer and equipment costs, and consolidation among meat processors as factors contracting the national herd.

Raise the steaks

Still, alongside the FDA’s push for red meat consumption, demand is soaring. Data from Beef Research cited by Fox News found US shoppers spent over $45 billion on ~6.2 billion pounds of beef in 2025; while spending was up 12% from the year prior, the amount of actual meat that was sold only rose 4%