By T Snitz Esquire
Pretend Donald’s your charismatic but odd uncle. He’s moved into your place for an extended visit. You’re trying your best to overlook his offensive remarks because he’s got some reasonable policy ideas. But as time goes on he begins to grate on you, a lot! You wonder if he’s losing his marbles and you simply can’t stand listening another second. Enough. It’s time for him to go.
Then your other uncle, Joe shows up. He’s nice enough, says nothing offensive. It’s a little unnerving to see him shuffle around the house. Still has trouble finding the bathroom?
He’s doing some strange shit! Locking down cities (pandemic), opening our border,
throwing cops under the bus, involving us in stupid wars (Gaza, Ukraine), and awkwardly leaving friends behind in Afghanistan. His spending’s out of control. Should you confiscate his checkbook?
You can’t stand what Uncle Donald “says”, but you’re pretty concerned with what Joe “does”. You’re now in the uncomfortable position of choosing which one will come back to live with you for four years.
Donald’s talking less. Maybe he’ll finally shut up. You hold your nose and pull the voting lever.
You know it’s a matter of time till Mr. Mean starts spewing nasty vile.
Family sucks.
PS. Uncle Donald is a bit of a conspiracy theorist and makes wild accusations. How does the joke go? It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you? Were the DNC, Hillary, and the Russiagate gang? Has the FBI bugged my house! OMG.