Inside the ‘Financial Infidelities’ That Tear Marriages Apart

Honesty is the best policy. Who said that? Ah, Ben Franklin who apparently hated his wife. I made up that last part. The point is, 50% of American marriage end up in divorce and half of the remaining should probably end up in divorse.

What I'm getting at? Just do the right thing and give them half up front...and stop talking seriously. Why do you have to be so argumentative? Are you listening to me?

Inside the ‘Financial Infidelities’ That Tear Marriages Apart

It has never been easier to conceal unsavory spending from a spouse. Divorce—and significant financial damage—can follow.

By Gunjan Banerji, WSJ

April 19, 2026 5:30 am ET

This week, we’re bringing you stories about the financial impact of divorce.

Marriages fall apart for any number of reasons. For Jessica Simon, the first signs that hers was in trouble showed up in the checking account she shared with her husband.

At times, it would be a stray DraftKings charge. On other days, there would be more. Roughly nine years into their marriage, her frustrations with the sports bets reached a tipping point.

The rift over money made clear how much they had both changed since they first started dating and had kids.

“We’re not the same people we were,” said Simon, 41, who lives in Philadelphia and works for a clinical research company.

Money, that eternal source of marital friction, offers a paper trail for the unraveling of countless marriages.

Roughly a third of Americans who have tied the knot said their first marriage ended in divorce, according to a Pew Research Center report that uses 2023 data. Divorce lawyers say that what’s known as financial secrecy or infidelity is at the center of many splits. That can mean hiding when an income source dries up, keeping a secret bank account or giving in to any of the financial temptations that have proliferated in recent years, whether it’s sports betting, shopping apps or risky trades.

“Many people are leading separate financial lives, or one spouse is in the dark,” said Evan Schein, a partner at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein in New York. “All of a sudden you might find out that the assets you thought existed, the marital pot that you thought was of one value, might be substantially less.”

While many married couples still have joint accounts, more are opting to keep their finances separate, making it easier to conceal spending. The share of couples without any joint bank accounts rose to 23% in 2023, up from 15% in 1996, according to a Census survey last year.

The shift partly reflects the rising age of marriage for American men and women; individual bank accounts were more common for couples who married later.

In some cases, funds aren’t just separate, but entirely hidden. When that happens, divorce lawyers can argue that one party was improperly spending assets that belonged to both spouses.

Marilyn Chinitz, a New York-based matrimonial attorney at Blank Rome, said one of her clients discovered a secret account kept by her ex-husband. A forensic accountant helped determine that he had been spending roughly $20,000 a month on another woman and their child in an apartment for around a decade. The accountant sifted through a mountain of documents to track transfers in and out of the account, uncovering a web of transactions that hadn’t been disclosed.

“It’s like taking a piece of fabric and pulling it and all of a sudden everything starts to unfold,” Chinitz said.

Eventually, they tallied up millions spent on this hidden life.

Red squiggly line.

Money secrets can lurk even when accounts are shared.

Gail Legaspi-Gaull said she and her husband pooled their money once they married. The 54-year-old, who lives in Virginia, said she had a higher salary and felt like she footed more of their expenses, including for their home and two kids.

Over time, she came to resent that. Then she noticed the balance on a bank account dwindling. It turned out his job situation had changed.

“He didn’t even tell me at first,” she said.

Jeff Gaull, her ex-husband, said he lost his full-time status but was still working. He says though his income decreased, he was still contributing to the household.

“I felt like if I told her right off the bat it would cause unnecessary stress on both of us,” Gaull said.

He said her career often seemed like the priority in the relationship, something he felt they oriented their lives around. The money rift was one of several issues in their marriage, they both said, and over time they grew apart.

In some cases, letting your spouse take care of the finances can backfire. Tamsen Fadal, a podcast host and author, said her ex-husband handled a lot of the money. In retrospect, she wishes she had taken more control when they were together.

She occasionally worried if they could afford their lifestyle, but brushed aside her concerns.

When they went out to eat, for instance, she recalls ordering appetizers, main courses and desserts, racking up expensive bills.

“He’s going to take care of it all,” Fadal recalled thinking.

She eventually found out about an affair, she said, and they split. Soon after, she says she started opening bank statements that were arriving in the mail and was surprised to see an account she wasn’t aware of. She says she was also in debt after she divorced.

“It really did change how I look at money,” Fadal said.

She says she no longer outsources money decisions to her partner.

Simon’s wedding album.

For Simon in Philadelphia, a flurry of sports bets she discovered one morning in 2023 set the divorce in motion, she said. To her, it was money they weren’t saving or spending on things like family vacations. She wanted to control her own finances.

Shortly after, she opened her own bank account.