Most U.S. adults have lived with a romantic partner they’re not married to by their early 40s

I'm not like most people. I lived with a romantic partner I was married to. So take that PEW!

Most U.S. adults have lived with a romantic partner they’re not married to by their early 40s

ByJake Hays, PEW Research

Aug 12, 2026

It’s common for adults in the United States to live with a romantic partner they’re not married to – what demographers call cohabitation. Around three-quarters of Americans in their late 30s or early 40s have done this at some point in their lives.

Still, there are demographic differences in these cohabitation experiences, including whether living with a romantic partner ultimately leads to marriage. For example, adults with a bachelor’s degree are more likely than those without one to ultimately marry a cohabiting partner.

The NLSY97 is a nationally representative panel study of Americans born between 1980 and 1984. The study began in 1997, when participants were 12 to 17 years old. It has interviewed these same individuals every year or two and is still ongoing.

What are the advantages of a panel?

A panel study follows the same people over time and allows researchers to track changes in their lives. Because participants report on their relationships and living situations every year or two, this data is likely more accurate than asking people in their late 30s or early 40s to remember every relationship they have had throughout their lives.

To better understand cohabitation in the U.S., we analyzed data from a Bureau of Labor Statistics study known as the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, 1997, or NLSY97. This study has followed the same people since 1997 – when they were 12 to 17 years old – and asks about topics including their romantic partners, living arrangements and marital status. The latest round of surveys was conducted in 2023, when participants were 38 to 43 years old.

Here are some key facts from our analysis.

From 2019: Why people get married or move in with a partner

About this research

About three-quarters (77%) of adults ages 38 to 43 have lived with an unmarried romantic partner at some point in their lives, including 37% who have lived with two or more different people. These figures vary by education. For example, 82% of adults with a high school diploma or less education have lived with an unmarried partner, compared with 70% of those with a bachelor’s degree.

When it comes to the number of romantic partners Americans have lived with, adults with at least a bachelor’s degree are the most likely to have lived with only one: 46% say this, compared with 38% of those with some college education and 35% of those with a high school diploma or less. (Throughout this analysis, education categories refer to the highest level completed by ages 38 to 43, not necessarily the person’s level of education when they lived with a partner.)

Differences by race and ethnicity are smaller. White adults (79%) are more likely than Hispanic (74%) and Black (71%) adults to have ever lived with an unmarried romantic partner. The sample of Asian respondents is not large enough to analyze separately.

There are also large educational differences in the age at which Americans first live with an unmarried partner. Overall, 27% of those who are ages 38 to 43 and have ever lived with a partner first did so before age 20.

But that share is 40% among those with a high school diploma or less education, compared with 12% of those with a bachelor’s degree or more. Adults with at least a bachelor’s degree, in turn, are more likely than other groups to say they began cohabiting in their late 20s (29%) or in their 30s or later (19%).

Differences by race and ethnicity are more modest. White (28%) and Hispanic (32%) adults are somewhat more likely than Black adults (23%) to have cohabited before age 20.

Two-thirds of adults who are ages 38 to 43 and have lived with an unmarried partner have gone on to marry someone they cohabited with. Most of the people in this group (70%) married the first partner they lived with, while another 22% married the second.

Cohabitation and marriage patterns again differ widely by education, race and ethnicity. For example, among adults who have ever cohabited, 77% of those with at least a bachelor’s degree married a partner they lived with, compared with 66% of those with some college education and 59% of those with a high school diploma or less. White adults are the most likely to have married a partner they lived with (73%), followed by Hispanic adults (59%) and Black adults (46%).

Meanwhile, 28% of those who have ever cohabited have not married. And another 5% married someone they never cohabited with. This could include people who cohabited with one partner and then married a different partner they hadn’t lived with. It could also include those who cohabited for the first time after a separation or divorce from a spouse they didn’t live with before marriage.

The typical cohabiting relationship lasts 18 months before ending in marriage or a breakup. This figure is a median and includes cohabiting relationships that are ongoing as of the survey date.

Some cohabiting relationships last years. For instance, 26% of adults who are ages 38 to 43 and have ever cohabited report at least one cohabiting relationship that lasted five years or longer. That includes 8% who had a cohabiting relationship that lasted 10 years or longer.

Longer-term cohabitations are more common among adults with less education. Roughly a third (34%) of those with a high school diploma or less have lived with a partner for at least five years. The same is true for 26% of adults with some college education and 17% of those with a bachelor’s degree.

When it comes to race and ethnicity, Hispanic adults (35%) are more likely than White (24%) and Black (26%) adults to have cohabited with an unmarried romantic partner for at least five years.