Suck it Heinz! You lied, and now you're going to pay. Do you think I've got all day to sit around the kitchen and watch my life waste away? BTW Velveeta isn't fit for human consumption.
I'm just getting started.
The Microwave Pasta Tort
Lawyers try to shake down Kraft Heinz over macaroni prep time.
By The Editorial Board, WSJ
Dec. 4, 2022 5:55 pm ET
Everyone knows plaintiff attorneys are ravenous, but this is ridiculous. The class-action lawyers at Sheehan & Associates in New York and the Wright Law Office in Florida are arguing that Kraft Heinz Co. should pay millions because its microwavable pasta takes too long to prepare.
This macaroni misadventure began when plaintiff Amanda Ramirez bought a pack of single-serving Velveeta shells and cheese at a Publix in Hialeah, Fla., this fall. The package says the dish is “ready in 3½ minutes,” but Ms. Ramirez discovered that “3-and-a-half minutes is just the length of time to complete one of several steps,” according to her complaint filed in federal court in Florida.
In addition to nuking the meal for three and a half minutes, consumers also have to remove the lid, add water, and stir in cheese sauce. The complaint suggests all of this effort has afflicted poor Ms. Ramirez with a case of dinner-related trauma.
She now is “unable to rely on the labeling and representations not only of this Product, but other similar products that claim they are ready in a specific amount of time, because she is unsure whether those representations are truthful,” the complaint continues.
Ms. Ramirez and her lawyers accuse Kraft Heinz of violating the Florida Deceptive and Unfair Trade Practices Act and state consumer fraud acts. They also say the company engaged in negligent misrepresentation, fraud, false and misleading advertising, breach of warranty and unjust enrichment.
The plaintiff’s lawyers note the same product is sold at “thousands of stores” across the U.S. and say “the aggregate amount in controversy exceeds $5 million,” which they seek for Ms. Ramirez and “all others similarly situated.” Shakedowns to follow.
If Sheehan & Associates sounds familiar, perhaps that’s because this year it also sued Ralph Lauren Corp. over whether the yarn in a sweater it advertised as Pima cotton was sufficiently luxurious. That case is in federal court in New York.
In an emailed statement, Kraft Heinz said it is “aware of this frivolous lawsuit and will strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint.” Glad to hear it. The typical goal of such class-action lawsuits is to force the defendant to shell out rather than noodling around in federal court.
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