Do men and women prefer older mates as they age.

I'd like to officially apologize to our female readers for being a man. This is absolutely disgusting! No, not the fact that I've aged like fine wine!

I'm different. Don't lump me in with the mass of testosteroned out apes that inhabit the earth.

Chart based on the famous OkCupid data analyzed by Christian Rudder in his book Dataclysm.

Women's preferences: Women consistently find men roughly their own age most attractive throughout their lives. A 25-year-old woman prefers men around 26, a 40-year-old woman prefers men around 40, and so on.

Men's preferences: Men of all ages consistently rate women in their early twenties (20-23) as most attractive, regardless of the men's own age. Whether they're 25, 40, or 50, men's "ideal" age remains fixed at the early twenties.

Important context: While this data shows stated attraction/ratings, actual messaging behavior shows more realism—men typically message women closer to their own age. There's a significant gap between what men rate as most attractive and who they actually pursue. Recent 2025 research from blind date studies also suggests that when people actually meet in person (rather than rating profiles), both men and women show similar slight preferences for younger partners.