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The Spritzler Report
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snitzoid
57 minutes ago0 min read
Voldemort to arm Israel with new toys?
Ok, you ready for harsh? Better strap in and throw back a stiff drink. How we got here or whether it was wise is a subject for another day. Nobody wants the Dark Lord to leave until the job is done. Not China, not the other Arab states and certainly not Europe. There's one way "out" and that's "forward". Iran may or may not fear Voldemort, but they sure as hell fear Bibi. Notice they've recently bombed everybody but Israel, with good reason. They've seen what Israel did to
snitzoid
7 hours ago4 min read
All of Ed Sheeran’s openers— including Finneas— ditch tour after Macklemore fiasco
Thomas Spritzler yesterday echoed a similar story, his Make Muslim Americans Great Again Tour again losing headliners. "I had Sonny Hoskins, Whoopi and Oprah signed and now...I'm once again alone. Apparently they've accused me of being without morals. What the f-ck is that supposed to mean?" Sources close to Al Jazeera claim the Spritzler's recent shouting match in a Manhattan Lobby with AOC angered many of his fans. All of Ed Sheeran’s openers— including Finneas— ditch to
snitzoid
8 hours ago2 min read
Iran war will enter ‘much different phase in a couple of months,’ JD Vance tells The Post
Hmmm, a couple of months? Like after the midterms? Unless Voldemort looses both houses it's fair to assume the "bomb the shit out of them" phase may begin or the "let Israel do that Gaza thing they do so well" may fire up as well? ran war will enter ‘much different phase in a couple of months,’ JD Vance tells The Post By Josh Christenson, NY Post Published Sep. 15, 2026 The US conflict with Iran will enter a “much different phase in a couple of months,” Vice President JD Vanc
snitzoid
8 hours ago3 min read
Sidney Sweeney should be ashamed of herself
If the actress wants to flaunt her toned abs, she should have the decency to at the very least learn how to play beach volleyball! Perhaps someday, she'll have the opportunity to play on the olympic stage and not sexualize sports.
snitzoid
12 hours ago1 min read
JD Vance urges high turnout in 2026 midterms to keep ‘crazies’ out of office with Trump agenda on the line
Our nation's future is on the line and you choose to read about Kelsea's abs and in the process objectify women? What's wrong with you. Skip the next article, show a little maturity and read about JD Vance. And for god sakes don't even think about that new Sidney Sweeney ad. Focus for god's sake! Kelsea Ballerini flaunts her abs in red bikini as she rings in her 33rd birthday By Lori A Bashian, Fox News Published Sep. 16, 2026 Kelsea Ballerini is celebrating her birthday in
snitzoid
14 hours ago4 min read
Trump called Nvidia's Jensen Huang live onstage to call AI safety concerns 'a hoax'
The hysteria is fueled by the same fanatics who claim the Spritzler Report is bad for your mental health. Trump called Nvidia's Jensen Huang live onstage to call AI safety concerns 'a hoax' The Nvidia CEO answered a call from the president while he was onstage at a summit. Put on speakerphone for the crowd, Trump called data centers "the oil of the next 20, 25 years" By Quartz Staff Updated September 15, 2026 Trump called Nvidia's Jensen Huang live onstage to call AI safety c
snitzoid
14 hours ago2 min read
snitzoid
14 hours ago0 min read
Why is the incidence of autism growing?
Very well presented.
snitzoid
1 day ago1 min read
The Stagnant Housing Market Is About to Face a 7% Mortgage
Of course nobody will buy your home right now. Relax, you like your neighbors. Not the right time. The Stagnant Housing Market Is About to Face a 7% Mortgage The housing market is approaching the highest mortgage rate since January 2025, likely spooking home buyers and home builders even more By Nicholas G. Miller, WSJ Sept. 15, 2026 5:30 am ET U.S. mortgage rates are closing in on 7% for the first time since January 2025, threatening to further discourage prospective home
snitzoid
1 day ago6 min read
The cynical genius of Sydney Sweeney’s latest advert
Ever heard of Gracie Kramer, the gymnast who's complaining about Sweeney? That's her next door on her TikTok channel (where she also poses in a host of bikinis, leotards and other trending fashion). Of course she's pissed because Sweeney can sell products than she can't. Sweeney is a fricking market juggernaut! And while I applaud Sweeney's physique I've decided to fight for women's rights by boycotting this sports betting site. I'm a social justice warrior. And don't wa
snitzoid
1 day ago4 min read
Zelensky’s strategy is national suicide
Authored by Ukraine's press secretary from 2019-2021. Zelensky’s strategy is national suicide By Iuliia Mendel, The Spectator Tuesday, September 15, 2026 For Americans who follow the Russian-Ukrainian war, the past few months must look very strange. In the first half of summer, the story from Kyiv – and the many western media outlets that repeated it – was that Ukraine was winning. Then, not long after the NATO summit in July, Kyiv announced it lacked the interceptors to prev
snitzoid
1 day ago5 min read
Chinese Students Are Lapping U.S. Children
Yes, but they don't play travel soccer. Nor do they trend on Instagram. Chinese Students Are Lapping U.S. Children The latest global education comparisons show the real competitive threat. By The Editorial Board, WSJ Sept. 14, 2026 6:01 pm ET Politicians of both parties fret that the U.S. is losing ground to China, though their remedy is usually more industrial policy. A report last week from the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) laid bare in dispiriting det
snitzoid
2 days ago2 min read
This guy has a bright future. I've got my eye on him!
He's guilty of being a fine young man. Let's not rush to judgement simply because he's not Jewish. I assume he's not Jewish. Hmm. Perhaps I was hasty in suggesting that? Georgia mayor, 23, ousted 10 months after making history as state’s youngest administrator By Bonny Chu, Fox News Published Sep. 15, 2026, 2:59 a.m. ET Georgia’s youngest elected mayor was removed from office just 10 months after taking the job following allegations that he misused city funds and exchanged
snitzoid
2 days ago2 min read
Who are the f-cking Houthis?
Should we bomb the Houthis off the face of the Earth? That seems a little extreme. Let Israel bury them. And forge stronger ties with Saudi Arabia? Hey, I should be a diplomat? Unlikely power players Vivian, give me the 101 version: Who are the Houthis? By Katrin Bennhold, NY Times Sept 15, 2026 In the early 2000s, they were this ragtag militia in northern Yemen — rebels with guns who were fighting the central government. But over the past decade or so, they’ve become thes
snitzoid
2 days ago4 min read
snitzoid
2 days ago1 min read
Nearly Half of Americans Want Unions to Gain Influence
I recently became the President of the local Tabloid Owners Union. Either you apprentice for 10 years and pay my exhorbitant yearly dues or you don't publish. Capiche? BTW, It's important to have a good lawyer. Nearly Half of Americans Want Unions to Gain Influence Line chart: Americans' preference for influence of unions, 1999-2026. The Data: Forty-seven percent of Americans would like labor unions in the U.S. to have more influence than they do today, a record high and ro
snitzoid
2 days ago1 min read
Do people think gov or business more corrupt?
Listen, I've done a bunch of things to make the Report the leading Tabloid in the SE sector of Arlington Heights. Did I transgress the law at times? Perhaps. But here you are reading this dribble. I'd say it was worth it. Nobody's above the law...except the your's truly. At least I have some dignity. I'm not an elected official. Oh, wait a minute. I'm the President of our Condo Association in Steamboat? Ooops. Record-High 89% in U.S. Say Government Corruption Widesprea
snitzoid
2 days ago4 min read
snitzoid
2 days ago0 min read
The Great AI Slowdown? Not buying it?
In 2007 Al Gore won his Nobel Prize for predicting the Climate Apocalypse. Then Obama fired up the Dems program to go "Green". Remember the Green New Deal championed by Kamala and her buddies. Meanwhile China was calling on all nations to follow their lead on Green technology. AI is the same story repeating itself? I had Claude generate a graph of CO2 emissions below. Yep, China is leading the way...in polluting the earth. The Great AI Slowdown? Nothing is now stopping Anth
snitzoid
3 days ago4 min read
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